10 THINGS MEN CAN DO
- Approach gender violence as a MEN'S issue involving men of all ages and socioeconomic, racial and ethnic backgrounds. View men not only as perpetrators or possible offenders, but as empowered bystanders who can confront abusive peers
- If a brother, friend, classmate, or teammate is abusing his female partner -- or is disrespectful or abusive to girls and women in general -- don't look the other way. If you feel comfortable doing so, try to talk to him about it. Urge him to seek help. Or if you don't know what to do, consult a friend, a parent, a professor, or a counselor. DON'T REMAIN SILENT.
- Have the courage to look inward. Question your own attitudes. Don't be defensive when something you do or say ends up hurting someone else. Try hard to understand how your own attitudes and actions might inadvertently perpetuate sexism and violence, and work toward changing them.
- If you suspect that a woman close to you is being abused or has been sexually assaulted, gently ask if you can help.
- If you are emotionally, psychologically, physically, or sexually abusive to women, or have been in the past, seek professional help NOW.
- Be an ally to women who are working to end all forms of gender violence. Support the work of campus-based women's centers. Attend "Take Back the Night" rallies and other public events. Raise money for community-based rape crisis centers and battered women's shelters. If you belong to a team or fraternity, or another student group, organize a fundraiser.
- Recognize and speak out against homophobia and gay-bashing. Discrimination and violence against lesbians and gays are wrong in and of themselves. This abuse also has direct links to sexism (eg. the sexual orientation of men who speak out against sexism is often questioned, a conscious or unconscious strategy intended to silence them. This is a key reason few men do so).
- Attend programs, take courses, watch films, and read articles and books about multicultural masculinities, gender inequality, and the root causes of gender violence. Educate yourself and others about how larger social forces affect the conflicts between individual men and women.
- Don't fund sexism. Refuse to purchase any magazine, rent any video, subscribe to any Web site, or buy any music that portrays girls or women in a sexually degrading or abusive manner. Protest sexism in the media.
- Mentor and teach young boys about how to be men in ways that don't involve degrading or abusing girls and women. Volunteer to work with gender violence prevention programs, including anti-sexist men's programs. Lead by example
Copyright 1999, Jackson Katz. www.jacksonkatz.com
10 THINGS WOMEN CAN DO
1. Stop Talking About Your Weight (especially in front of young girls)
Young girls listen to the way women talk about themselves and each other and learn the language of womanhood. Young women can only learn to love or even accept their bodies if they see women who love and accept their own. Every discussion we have about weight, or fat, or being too this or that, leaves an impression on the people around us. We are encouraging an unattainable quest for perfection.
2. Make a List of Women You Admire
How often is the woman's appearance a reason that you admire her? What do you think are the most important attributes a woman can have? What would you like a young woman to most admire in you? In herself? Does our culture seem to admire the same things in women that you do?
3. Question the Motives of the Fashion Industry
Always remember that the main objective of the fashion, cosmetic, diet, fitness and plastic surgery industries is to make money, not to make you the best person you can possibly be. The ultra thin ideal is working for them. But is it working for you? If every season your parent or partner told you to change who you are or how you dress wouldn't you question their motives?
4. Stop Weighing Yourself
Remember that the emphasis to be thin and beautiful is ever present in our society. Cut yourself some slack. Imagine spending a day, or a week, without the scale measuring your self esteem. Does the scale tell you that you aren't disciplined enough? That you aren't working hard enough? Get rid of it. The emphasis on thin is new and arbitrary. And it can be reversed.
5. Concentrate on Things You Do Well
Do you look in the mirror one day and think you look great and the next day and think you look awful? Your body isn't changing, your perception of it is. It is true that if you're feeling good about other things in your life, you'll be less critical of how you look. Do things you do well. And if you've had a bad day, stay away from the mirror. When a woman is happy and confident, she may not have a "perfect" body, but she doesn't give a damn!
6. Get Physical For Fun
Your body needs EXCERCISE and REAL FOODS. Take walks, dance in your living room, garden, golf...try to get moving for your heart, not to decrease the size of your bottom. You may lose weight and you may not, but your body will be stronger, your stress will be lower and you'll feel better.
7. Value Your Dollars
With more women working today than ever before, our dollars are much in demand. You are being courted! How much of your money goes into the fashion and cosmetics industries? What do you spend on eating regimens? What are you getting back? Look at your budget and be sure the money you spend reflects the person you are, not the person society wants you to be. If look's didn't matter at all, what would you spend your money on?
8. Voice Your Opinion
Both large and small businesses are interested in your input. Your letters and phone calls really make a difference. The following organizations can help you find the addresses of companies. Contact Media Action
9. Be a Role Model
Every culture and every generation has its own rules and expectations for women. It is never easy to go against the grain, but there have always been women who took risks to grow and learn and succeed. And, there always will be. Many inspirational women have broken molds, set new standards, and blazed trails. Wouldn't you like to break a mold or two?
Author Sara Tisdale wrote, "We must all choose between battles: One battle is against the cultural ideal, and the other is against ourselves." Must we always define ourselves by what popular culture dictates? Develop your own style. Have fun-- Wear lipstick. Or don't. You're the boss of you. By speaking out and accepting yourself (dimples and all), you help break the barriers.
How to Write a Complaint Letter About an Ad
May 13th, 2008
On the About-Face web site (that is, on this blog and elsewhere on our site), we talk about a lot of ads and other media that require action from consumers. But when we say “write a letter or e-mail,” what does that really mean? I used to think about what I would say for so long that I’d never write the letters. Those days are over for me, but a lot of people don’t know what to say to these companies. Here are some tips. For an example, check out the comments in the Dairy Queen post.
(If you’ve written a particularly good complaint letter that follows these suggestions, please post it in the comments below!)
How to Write an Effective Complaint Letter about an Ad or Other Media
Opening paragraph
- Say why you’re writing. Specify the ad or other media (use the name of the ad if you know it)
- Write one VERY SHORT sentence about your problem with the ad
- Briefly say what your action is going to be (see below)
Following paragraphs
- Go into more detail about why the ad is problematic for you, for society, for women, for men, for people of color, or whatever. Be productive and descriptive. Do not say “I think” or “I believe” or “I feel” — be strong! Do not go off on a rant, even if you are angry. You will be dismissed as a crazy person if you do rant, and the company will not read your letter or take it seriously.
- Tell them again what your action will be. Always say you will not buy their product until the ad is “pulled” (no longer published, on TV, etc.). Even if you were not a customer before, tell them you were a formerly loyal customer. If you’re planning to stage a protest, say that, but don’t state the date.
- State what the company will need to do to earn your business back. Issue an apology in a press release? Pull the ad from TV/radio or magazines, or take the billboard down?
- Tell the offending company you will spread the word to other customers and to all your friends and acquaintances. Then go send your letter in an e-mail to all your friends, post it on your MySpace or Facebook page, etc. and urge your friends/family to take action too.
- Sign your real name and write your city and state below your name.
Take more advanced action
If you have more time and/or incredible amounts of ire about your ad/media, here are more steps you can take that will make a difference:
- Send the letter/e-mail to the ad agency that created the ad. Find out who the agency was and send them the letter as well. Do not call them. Why? The advertiser (company whose products are being sold) made the final decisions about the ad’s content. It’s hard to tell how much was the advertiser’s doing and how much was the agencies’.
- Use more modes of communication. Make phone calls and write a real, paper letter too (not just an e-mail). Media outlets pay attention to this stuff!
- Send it to the editorial body. If the ad was on TV, send a letter to the TV station or cable channel, and specify the date you saw the ad and what show was on. Similarly, if the ad was in a magazine, pull out the ad and mail it to the magazine with your letter. Send it to the editor-in-chief and also the sales director. (When I was a magazine editor, our readers opinions mattered more than you want to know.)
- Post a flyer on or near the local retail store of the business that details the problems with the ad. Again, use productive communication.
When you’re done
Once you write your super-cool, pointed letter, just save a copy and change it a little each time you come across an ad. Make it easy for yourself to write these suckers!
Why complain in the first place?
Here’s why: It makes a difference, even if you never get a response. When a company’s sales go down, the people at the company wonder why that’s happening. You want to hit them over the head with a hint so they will change their tactics. Also, remember that consumers have the most power over companies, since, as a for-profit corporation, their main concern is — duh — profits. When we don’t buy the products, the companies have less money and thus less advertising power. And, when you raise a stink (even a little stink), companies get humilated, which is usually the only way to get them to change.
No comments:
Post a Comment